Friday, December 16, 2011

“Do you know what hurts so very much? It’s love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill that love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.”
-Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place

Thursday, December 15, 2011

saying goodbye...

I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH UNDERGRAD!  Now I am an adult, except I do not yet have a job with benefits, which I could use right about now.

My second graders made me cards. Here are a few excerpts that should brighten your day:
-One boy drew a picture of a dead person and wrote RIP. I went over to him and said I am not dying, I'm just leaving. He says "that's me." So I clarified, "Oh, so you're dying because I am leaving?" His answer: "Yes."
-"Miss Wilson you tech us so much stuf that I think I am going to isplowd with nolig at school."
-"go buy and happy birthay miss wilson."
-"I love you Miss Wilson"

There are definitely students you feel like you try harder to be patient with and there are those that you desperately want to help. It is so great to look back over the past 8 weeks and feel like I made some sort of impact. I was frustrated with this class often, because it was filled with know-it-alls and I felt like I never truly gained their respect, constantly having to tell them to be quiet, but I will miss them and I have grown to love each of them. One boy I could not stand at the beginning became so dear to me the last two weeks. Another boy showed great improvement while I was there in terms of behavior and showing that he does get it. He gave me the longest hug goodbye- from the classroom to the buses- and my heart melted. I have such hopes for these children and I hope and pray that they will go far in life. I was able to write them each a letter and I tried to encourage them all by telling them to keep doing their best. I expect one will be a fashion model/actress, another a navy fighter pilot, a football player, and a translator. Maybe one will be a president... he did dress as JFK for celebrity day.

It is the relationships that make all the hours and the little pay worth it... I can't wait.

P.S. The little pay won't bother me at first, because I could use any pay....

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I may not understand, but He does

Last semester I was obsessed with a verse in a song- "I lean not on my own understanding, my life is in the hands of the maker of Heaven... I give it all to you, God, hoping that you'll make something beautiful out of me."
A wonderful friend here just recently discovered this band, United Pursuit, thanks to another dear friend. I listened to it Friday night with her in a car as we both had tears in our eyes.... I need to listen to it daily.
It is sad how disappointed and unfaithful I am when the things that I see as good and honorable to God are not brought to fruition. The thing I prayed about last semester in relation to this song is the same as the thing I pray about today.... but it has been settled, yet I still hope in it, and not in Christ's plan.

It is something I will daily have to present to the Lord, to protect my heart and to trust in his promise. It is hard.

The same Advent devotional I have been reading discussed God's plan of salvation through Jesus as being an eternal plan, thought of before the world was even created... how long did that take? And my life is so much shorter... I think I can wait. But I can't. But I should be able to.... oh how much is revealed to you when you are not surrounded by likely circumstances of single, jobless friends. Patience, patience, patience.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

A post for Marge and Kell, because I really only keep up with this to give you an update on my life

I have been thinking that when I have a family of my own we are going to decorate for Christmas the night of Thanksgiving, because that is how I view Thanksgiving anyway- a gateway to Christmas. I also will recommend to my husband an idea I saw a man doing today: jam out to Christmas music while stringing the lights on the house. It was awesome and I enjoyed hearing Elvis sing "I'll have a blue Christmas with out you..." as I walked by with Wilson.

Wilson is the Wilsons new Dachshund... I love him. I have a history of hating animals, but I have really liked him so far. I came home from school Thursday and was told we were getting a dog. We went to the SPCA- adoptions were free for that day, because of a large donation.

I am attempting to be focused on the reason for the season (so cheesy, but true). I have begun a weekly advent guide ( http://www.thevillagechurch.net/mediafiles/advent-guide.pdf ) and I am reading a chapter in Luke each day, since it has 27ish books. Maybe its the weather and the fact that this past week was so busy, but I have not been terribly anxious for Christmas to arrive yet. I also haven't cared to listen to Christmas music nor watch any movies.... Maybe by the end of next week.

I have been jaded by the fact that two of my close friends will be married in one week! I have been so excited, so I am sure that is why I have not gotten into the spirit.

I have decided that I really love my second graders.... but I am excited to have a break for a bit... but I will be sad on my last day... it is so bittersweet.

ps. i unintentionally did no shave november on my legs..................... it is time to shave.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs, everybody... needs one

I just conducted a search for any job listings specific for early childhood educators... womp womp. So exhausting and discouraging. I have a specific desire to work with pre-k to k children who are at risk... there is a wonderful school in Norfolk that is just for these students. Dream job! I am looking for next semester and I think I will just start applying to my beloved Starbucks...

I have been thinking alot about a discipleship program for the fall. It is with the same people I did the summer program with. I would love to live in Tennessee next fall. It is amazing how God takes your memory off something and then reminds you through others. I had forgotten all about it and I recently saw a friend who asked me if I was still thinking about it. I have not stopped thinking about it since then. Praying for this option of very intentional discipleship with people I already love and respect immensely. It would put the whole career thing on hold another year... we shall see.

2 weeks until Andrephanie wedding! I cannot contain myself.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Stories of Second Grade

1. A student came up to me the other day and said, "I want to be millionaire rogers?" I asked to clarify, he repeated, and pointed to the job chart. I look for a few seconds and say, "Oh, you want to be the meteorologist?" (adding extra annunciation on the word).
2. One student has become dear to me, and the other day his tough guy front was down and he cried over frustration in science (matter is a hard concept!). BROKE MY HEART. I think I like him even more. I am trying to fight for him and to push him to do the work I know he is capable of doing. It is kids like him that I want to work with all the time.... hm, what can I specialize in?
3. We made a list of gases. My CT had students raise their hands with examples. The very first student who shares says, "farts." Cue laughter. She is gifted, and could prove why it was a gas. Props to her.

Enjoy.

One and a half days until no school for four days! So thankful for a break and rest and time with friends and family.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

PW Gopal and 2nd Grade

I arrived at church this morning a little late. I sat with some friends. First thing they say: that's PW Gopal. HAH! I almost didn't go to church this morning, because of anxiety of not having anyone to sit with, since my two regular attendees were both out of town. It was great. his voice is so powerful and it definitely got me pumped about the Lord.

I have yet to share stories about second grade. It is very different. The students know more, and some think they know more than me. STEP DOWN 2ND GRADER! There are definitely some I adore, but there are also some that are a challenge to love, because of their know-it-all attitudes. Is it bad that sometimes I am excited when they realize they are wrong. It is just a character flaw I do not appreciate in anyone... let alone someone 15 years younger than me. Any who... fun stories commence:

1. One boy asked his mother, the room mom, who passed the story on to me if I was married. She said she did not know, and he said, 'well if she is then she is married to Mr. Wilson, like on Dennis the Menace.' This was the theme of all of elementary school for me, so this was not new, but it's awesome he knows what that is! I did not know kids still watched that show/read the comic.
2. Two of the quietest, most well-behaved boys drew pictures of 'ships' aka machine guns. They swore they were ships when I told them they should not be drawing anything that does not belong in school. It was Friday, so I didn't pursue it. They will be future servicemen.
3. I read lots of scary stories about ghosts and witches and two-headed monsters.

I can't think of more. They aren't as funny. Perhaps that's why I am having a tough time. We shall see...

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

More Thoughts and a continued spiritual update

Continuing with the theme of my last post... I prayed tonight for frustrations I have about needing to wait for my wonderfully, Godly man that people continually tell me I will have when halfway through my prayer I realized God entails all the qualities I feel like would be so appropriate now. He is a protector, a provider, a perfect lover, and a support in all circumstances. I can't wait to see who or what he has for me, but I am praying to understand that God is the greatest love of my life and whomever he brings to me will only be a glimpse of his perfection. Here's to God's perfect plan for my life. All things are possible for Him...

Monday, October 31, 2011

spiritual update




My heart will sing no other name, Jesus, Jesus...

Praying for this to be true and to become real.
My singleness has been a struggle lately and it reminds me of the many silly things I put before Christ. Not okay.

Second grade is different, but good. Funny stories to come soon.

Monday, October 17, 2011

moving on to second grade...

this is my last week in kindergarten and i am trying to forget about it until thursday, my last day. thursday will be a sad day, yet happy, because i will be returning to JMU to spend most of the weekend with the ECED girls. i observed in a second grade classroom today and they just wont be as cute. i need to remember that second grade was my favorite grade in elementary school. it will also be interesting to have more independent students. there is hope.... funny stories will continue on. today, as i was talking to three second grade girls during recess time, they asked me if a lady has a ring on her finger, does that mean she has children? i explained that ladies with rings on their left ring finger are married and they dont always have babies, but they should have a ring on their finger when they have a baby. i pointed out that i dont have one, so im not married. they told me i needed to find a husband. i said that i am trying to do so and they say 'what about the principal?' hah.

that is all for now.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

let me say it again, i love kindergarten

today my CT was tying a boy's shoes (the same boy that says 'i love you' and 'i like your shoes' to her daily), he hugged her then looked her in the face, assessed the situation, and decided to give her a big kiss on the forehead. AHHHH i love them. that is all

Monday, October 3, 2011

another of many reasons to love kindergarten

Teacher: "Does anyone know what a Native American is?"
Student: "Virginia Beach-ans"


ps. i love these children. they are the cutest of all the elementary grades. second graders just aren't going to compare.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

why i love kindergarten

1. the children are to-die-for cute! My favorite ( I know I am not supposed to have favorites) is an ESL student who constantly says 'me love you' as well as compliments my CT on her footwear. I constantly find myself wondering what these 5-year-olds will look like in 10 years and who they will become.
2. the children are hilarious...
  • project #1 was to make an about me poster... one boy wrote that he wants to be a doctor, tree cutter, married person, preacher, gamer when he grows up, while the rest of the children wrote one occupation
  • a sassy little girl asked me why i was wearing a shirt under my sleeveless dress. i explained that i had to wear either a sweater or shirt and that the sweater was too hot. she replies, "you don't want nobody to see your stuff." she put she wants to be a makeup artist when she grows up.
  • the same day i wore the dress a girl asks, "miss wilson, why's your stomach so big?" i can only laugh...
  • the couples in my class, so far there is one in addition to a love triangle. the couple seems like they have a bright future.......... 
3. it is colorful and everything is new for the kids. it allows for a more welcoming classroom, since decorations and different colors are a must.
4. i sing all the time (my voice isnt the best, especially since i am getting a cold)! favorite song= days of the week to the tune of the addams family complete with snaps and clicks of the tongue. i sing throughout the day anyway when talking to myself.
5. my CT always has a special treat on Fridays... I will implement that in my classroom.

Monday, September 12, 2011

pleasantly surprised

i have loved being at home. this should not surprise me since all last semester and throughout the summer i prayed for my time at home and that it would be good, different, and a growing experience. i hope to one day live with the certainty that my God is faithful and under control. it is a growing process..... i have come a long way but i still have so much more to grow.

i love kindergarten. my students. my teacher. the school i am currently at. i went to a meeting for all student teachers in the school system today and i was excited, not freaked out, to apply for jobs/to have that option very soon. it was so affirming, since i have always been half in/half out in terms of teaching. i prayed this semester would confirm whether that is what i am supposed to do for the next phase of life or not. so far it is. lessons start next week!.... we will see how i feel then.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

CHAOS

I have many conflicting emotions as I write this. My heart is filled with love for friends that are all over the eastern part of the US. I spent 10 weeks at Discipleship Focus (DFo) immersed in a community of college-aged people. We worked together, lived together, and played together (cheesy) as we all went through an in-depth study about the truths of God. I am saddened that we are all over the country now and not together in Pigeon Forge. I am also sad that I will not be going back to JMU this year and that I am not living in the Graffiti House. After DFo, a few friends and I travelled around Tennessee to visit new cities and friends. We visited college houses and it hit me that I won't be in a college house this coming year. It is weird that I will still be doing college things, but I won't be in Harrisonburg. I am fearful and overwhelmed as I face the reality that student teaching begins in 10 days and I have yet to enroll thanks to my status as a non-degree seeking student. My car ride home from Pigeon Forge last night lasted 12 hours, even though Kevin and I tried our hardest to shave minutes off of our ETA. Our quick pit stop in Newport News lasted 2 hours since my tired popped which actually ended up being a broken wheel (woo). This means an expensive repair, which I have no way of paying for and which I hate making my mom pay for. 

Now comes the hope. I have grown! These events normally bog me down, especially at home where following the Lord can be hard for me to do. All this morning, When I start stressing out and preparing for a pity party, I am reminded that God is in control and I have searched for the blessings among my situations. In addition to the cost of repairing my vehicle, which is only mine for a few more days, I had a burden of school costs. Not being able to enroll yet, I had not heard about any financial aid. So earlier today I was (almost) stressing about that other added cost. I got a scholarship that covers a little over half of my tuition for this semester a few weeks ago, but I have no where near the $2000 extra I need. I checked ecampus, as I did a few times this summer, and under Financial Aid I have my scholarship and a grant for 2750! Where it came from I have no idea and when I was supposed to accept it I have no idea, but it is accepted and it is for the 2011-2012 school year. SO great. I had a few tears in my eyes as I also received another congratulatory letter today from the College of Education for my scholarship. It must have been God's way of reminding me that he provides for those who believe in Him. The cost to repair my car is a bit large, but mom was okay with it and looked at the positives of it. SO thankful she has a glass half full mentality.

This weekend we celebrate Cath turning 50 and I cannot wait. She has a very eventful weekend ahead of her and all I can hope for is that she feels loved. I am back home, so look forward to more blog processing and updates on life.


Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Look forward to...

hearing all about my adventures with kindergarteners August 29 to October 21 and 2nd graders October 24 to December 15. These are my student teaching placements! I will be at two different schools, both within ten minutes from my house in opposite directions. I also will be working with a more diverse population of students, which I am highly stoked about! PRAY that both of my teachers are superb educators. I am so glad I found out before Tennessee.

Speaking of which, I cannot wait. I am so bored and have relaxed quite enough, so I anxiously await Saturday afternoon when I will be on my way. Until then I will be distracted by packing, writing grad letters, and helping plan a bachelor/ette party and bridal luncheon for a most deserving bride, SKJ, soon to be SKR!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Tornados of doom

What is up with the weather?!? Today I woke up super early to take a test which is required for my teaching license. The weather man on the radio says that today will be hot, so "hopefully your AC works." That is all. I took the test which lasted about 3 hours, went to lunch with my stepsister, and even laid out in the hot, yet sunny day. I then go home, get my mom, and drive to the mall where we are to meet my cousin to see Bridesmaids (sooooooo funny, yet typical chick flick); it is still sunny. As soon as we get to the mall (10-15 mins away), the sky is dark gray and there are huge gusts of wind. I parked the car in the closest parking spot I could find, "not near trees" my mom says. We run inside, with a little extra pep in our step thanks to the wind, which pushed us along. The likes flickered on and off as we walked around the mall. I found solace at a kiosk where a salesman straightened my unruly, dirty hair. He then presumed to sell my mother a top notch hair straightener (early birthday present). The storm finally subsided after an hour or so and, after wasting time in the mall for two hours, we were able to go to the movies- SURPRISE! It was sunny again!

Now the wind rages on........... it is back?

I thought I lived in hurricane alley, not tornado alley!?

Also, I am unlike my friend Isaac Hulvey, who just recently wrote about storm chasing and how he loves storms. I DO NOT!

Monday, May 9, 2011

GradDivas

I love my housemates so much and I have thoroughly enjoyed the past two years living with them. I should be a wreck right now as I am packing up my things to move out at the end of the week, but I am emotionless. I have no emotions. I had no emotions Saturday after I graduated nor during any point that I was hanging out with friends for the 'last' time. There is hope, I shed a little tear out of gratefulness for my mom and all she has done for me AND I had a huddle cryfest with Jenna and Barefoot, my teammates at Spotswood from the beginning. I know I will be desperately wanting this time back in September, so I am trying to take it in and enjoy it as much as possible, but why do I have no emotions?


Contentment v. Numbness... which is it? I know which one I need to be praying for.

Some friends and a best friend (KKB) departed for Israel today. Another best friend departed for Peru. None of which include yet another best friend who is my world travelling, adventurous influence. My friends are so worldly.

Back to packing.

-College Grad

Monday, April 25, 2011

hoVBme

I went home this past weekend, very hesitant to do so. My motivations were to see and hold my one month old niece, Ellie Kaye and to have my car fixed. Nothing else. I really wanted to be at JMU as one of the final weekends and to spend Easter here, since I love Eastside and have no home church. On my drive home I was stressed about work that needed to get done and friends + family I needed to see. I was not excited.

God is so good!

He provided for me in multiple ways this weekend. I had all day Friday to do work free from distractions since I had the whole house to myself. I only saw family, which I really needed. Cath and I spent alot of quality time together, at the expense of my sister working- the only downfall is I did not see her, but Praise the Lord she is working! Ellie Kaye is a beautiful gem. I even managed to get a haircut. My car did not get fixed on account of a family emergency, but it has not broken yet so somebody is watching out for me.

Catherine M. Wilson is so wonderful and I love her to pieces. It was so good to reconnect and to really catch up. Mama and I had some good times. One fun story- I locked my keys in the car after sunrise service, so three firemen in an abnormally large fire truck unlocked the door for us. Happy Easter mother!

Here is to 12 days 'til graduation & 8 pages, 2 sources, and 3 days 'til my final project is due. MUST THROW DOWN THIS WEEKEND!!!!!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

25 days...

I was asked today if I am sad that I am graduating. I could not give a yes or no answer. It has all gone by in a blur and the past few weeks have especially. Spring break was so epic, but I have been bogged down by assignments and other adventures that I have almost forgotten about it... HOW COULD I!?

Anyway, I am currently bogged down by a large final project for my capstone class in IDLS and I have yet to start even though it is due in two weeks. It goes back to the idea that the past few weeks/months have been a blur and the due date has snuck up on me. The weather makes me think it is still February. Sarah, wake up! It is April and you graduate in 3ish weeks!

I need to continue praying that I will trust the Lord with these last few weeks. That I will accomplish all the 'lasts' He has for me. Maybe I have been which is why it has all gone by in such a blur? I do normally harbor on things in the past, maybe I have finally learned the art of living in the present, for taking only 'my daily bread' and that is why I have not craved SB2k11 to be back. Hmm...

Saturday, April 9, 2011

The First.

I have been wanting to create one of these for a little while now. I planned on waiting until August when I would be home, settled, and depressed about being so far from the people I have shared my everyday life with for the past four years. I decided that it would be great to be able to reflect on this final month then so I had better start now. Here I am, as I joyfully listen to Mumford & Sons Pandora Radio station.

Last night I gave my senior reflection at leadership, which is a weekly meeting with the Young Life ministry I am involved in here in Harrisonburg. SO ENCOURAGING! I have struggled with how large the community of YL leaders is here, but last night affirmed how much I appreciate the people I have had the pleasure of leading alongside these years. I will share what I shared here, mostly for myself to reflect on, but I hope you will gain some wisdom from it.

  • Luke 11:1-4 & Matthew 6:9-13- blueprint for prayer
  • don't be afraid to fall in love with the Lord
    • read Psalms, spend time in His word to the point where you yearn to be with Him
    • pray through the song when singing and DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYONE AROUND YOU
  • KEEP GOING!
    • don't give in to insecurities ("comparison is the thief of all joy")
    • don't quit- kids need you, learn so much about the Lord in the process
    • find PEACE in Christ (John 16:33)
    • Nehemiah 8:10, "joy is not bound by your circumstances"-Oswald Chambers
    • find your niche and run with it!
  • TEAM means work in giftzone
    • hang out and love each other, you are family!
  • trust God and cling to truth
    • Proverbs 3:5-6
    • Jeremiah 17:7-8
    • United Pursuit Band "Nothing I Hold Onto"
  • "Be the first to hit the dance floor."-Dove chocolate wrapper
    • don't be afraid to dance whenever and wherever
At the end we always encourage. I am honest and truthful. The funniest person Jenna has ever met. I am myself as a leader. I am loyal. I am a workhorse who has joyfully worked behind the scenes. Funny stories were shared and a few tears were shed. There was one instance of incredible thanksgiving. Some I knew, some felt good to be recognized for, and some were surprising and such sweet revelations. Thank you, I felt so loved and appreciated.

Reap some goods out of that. I will be back.