Friday, December 16, 2011

“Do you know what hurts so very much? It’s love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill that love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.”
-Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place

Thursday, December 15, 2011

saying goodbye...

I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH UNDERGRAD!  Now I am an adult, except I do not yet have a job with benefits, which I could use right about now.

My second graders made me cards. Here are a few excerpts that should brighten your day:
-One boy drew a picture of a dead person and wrote RIP. I went over to him and said I am not dying, I'm just leaving. He says "that's me." So I clarified, "Oh, so you're dying because I am leaving?" His answer: "Yes."
-"Miss Wilson you tech us so much stuf that I think I am going to isplowd with nolig at school."
-"go buy and happy birthay miss wilson."
-"I love you Miss Wilson"

There are definitely students you feel like you try harder to be patient with and there are those that you desperately want to help. It is so great to look back over the past 8 weeks and feel like I made some sort of impact. I was frustrated with this class often, because it was filled with know-it-alls and I felt like I never truly gained their respect, constantly having to tell them to be quiet, but I will miss them and I have grown to love each of them. One boy I could not stand at the beginning became so dear to me the last two weeks. Another boy showed great improvement while I was there in terms of behavior and showing that he does get it. He gave me the longest hug goodbye- from the classroom to the buses- and my heart melted. I have such hopes for these children and I hope and pray that they will go far in life. I was able to write them each a letter and I tried to encourage them all by telling them to keep doing their best. I expect one will be a fashion model/actress, another a navy fighter pilot, a football player, and a translator. Maybe one will be a president... he did dress as JFK for celebrity day.

It is the relationships that make all the hours and the little pay worth it... I can't wait.

P.S. The little pay won't bother me at first, because I could use any pay....

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I may not understand, but He does

Last semester I was obsessed with a verse in a song- "I lean not on my own understanding, my life is in the hands of the maker of Heaven... I give it all to you, God, hoping that you'll make something beautiful out of me."
A wonderful friend here just recently discovered this band, United Pursuit, thanks to another dear friend. I listened to it Friday night with her in a car as we both had tears in our eyes.... I need to listen to it daily.
It is sad how disappointed and unfaithful I am when the things that I see as good and honorable to God are not brought to fruition. The thing I prayed about last semester in relation to this song is the same as the thing I pray about today.... but it has been settled, yet I still hope in it, and not in Christ's plan.

It is something I will daily have to present to the Lord, to protect my heart and to trust in his promise. It is hard.

The same Advent devotional I have been reading discussed God's plan of salvation through Jesus as being an eternal plan, thought of before the world was even created... how long did that take? And my life is so much shorter... I think I can wait. But I can't. But I should be able to.... oh how much is revealed to you when you are not surrounded by likely circumstances of single, jobless friends. Patience, patience, patience.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

A post for Marge and Kell, because I really only keep up with this to give you an update on my life

I have been thinking that when I have a family of my own we are going to decorate for Christmas the night of Thanksgiving, because that is how I view Thanksgiving anyway- a gateway to Christmas. I also will recommend to my husband an idea I saw a man doing today: jam out to Christmas music while stringing the lights on the house. It was awesome and I enjoyed hearing Elvis sing "I'll have a blue Christmas with out you..." as I walked by with Wilson.

Wilson is the Wilsons new Dachshund... I love him. I have a history of hating animals, but I have really liked him so far. I came home from school Thursday and was told we were getting a dog. We went to the SPCA- adoptions were free for that day, because of a large donation.

I am attempting to be focused on the reason for the season (so cheesy, but true). I have begun a weekly advent guide ( ) and I am reading a chapter in Luke each day, since it has 27ish books. Maybe its the weather and the fact that this past week was so busy, but I have not been terribly anxious for Christmas to arrive yet. I also haven't cared to listen to Christmas music nor watch any movies.... Maybe by the end of next week.

I have been jaded by the fact that two of my close friends will be married in one week! I have been so excited, so I am sure that is why I have not gotten into the spirit.

I have decided that I really love my second graders.... but I am excited to have a break for a bit... but I will be sad on my last day... it is so bittersweet.

ps. i unintentionally did no shave november on my legs..................... it is time to shave.